- [Teddy's final words and the last lines spoken by Robin Williams on camera too]
- Teddy Roosevelt: Smile, my boy. It's sunrise.
- Sir Lancelot: Sir Lancelot, at your service.
- Teddy Roosevelt: Theodore Roosevelt, President of the United States of America.
- Sir Lancelot: I have no idea what that means.
- Teddy Roosevelt: You're done your job. It's time for your next adventure!
- Larry Daley: I have no idea what I'm going to do tomorrow.
- Teddy Roosevelt: [reassuring] How exciting.
- [from trailer]
- Sir Lancelot: You always put the monkey in charge?
- Larry Daley: Oh, he's not in charge, we're just following him.
- Sir Lancelot: That's what being in charge means.
- Larry Daley: I'm Half-Irish, Half-Jewish, so...
- Merenkahre: You are! I love Jews! We owned 40,000 of them!
- Shepseheret: Such lovely people.
- Ahkmenrah: Here we go...
- Larry Daley: They were very happy, always singing with candles...
- Larry Daley: Yeah. They really weren't happy.
- Shepseheret: Really?
- Larry Daley: No, they left. They spent about 40 years in the desert trying to escape.
- Shepseheret: Oh!
- Larry Daley: Yeah, we have dinner once a year and talk about it. It's a big deal.
- [from trailer]
- Teddy Roosevelt: Never run from a big cat, Lawrence.
- [Larry turns on his flashlight to make the lion statues chase it]
- Jedediah: You can't ambush me with that kinda cute!
- Jedediah: Where the heck are we?
- [the Pompeii volcano starts]
- Octavius: Ohh... Pompeii.
- [They ran away in the Pompeii exhibit as lava comes after them]
- Jedediah: This is the last round up!
- [the lava comes close to them until Dexter the monkey pees on them and the lava to save them]
- Octavius: We must never speak of what happend here today.
- [Dexter pees on them again]
- Jedediah: Come on, that wasn't necessary!
- Merenkahre: You are speaking to the Pharaoh. Kiss my staff!
- Larry Daley: Oh, uh... is it okay if I don't?
- [from trailer]
- Larry Daley: You know what you have to do?
- Laa: Stay.
- Larry Daley: That's right, just make sure she stays in there.
- [Laa is blocking the security guard door]
- Tilly: You better let me out! What are you staring at? What, have you never seen a beautiful, attractive, gorgeous woman before... who could be a model if she didn't love pizza so much.
- [from trailer]
- Laa: Dada!
- Larry Daley: No, no, i'm not your dada. Yes, we look similar.
- Laa: Dada.
- Larry Daley: No touching.
- [He slaps Laa's hand]
- Larry Daley: Stop it.