E.T. (1982)

Robert MacNaughton: Michael

Photos 

23 more photos

Quotes 

• Michael : Where's the playground?

  Elliott : It's near the preschool!

  Michael : Where's that?

  Elliott : I don't know streets! Mom always drives me!

  Michael : Son of a bitch.

• Michael : Maybe it was an iguana.

  Elliott : It was *no* iguana.

  Michael : Maybe, um - You know how they say there are alligators in the sewers?

  Gertie : Alligators in the sewers.

  Mary : All we're trying to say is, maybe you just probably imagined it. It happened...

  Elliott : I couldn't have imagined it!

  Michael : Maybe it was a pervert or a deformed kid or something.

  Gertie : A deformed kid.

  Michael : [mockingly]  Maybe an elf or a leprechaun.

  Elliott : It was nothing like that, penis-breath!

  Mary : [laughs in shock]  *Elliott*! Sit down.

• Michael : We're all going to die and they're never going to give me my license!

• Michael : Maybe he's some animal that wasn't supposed to live; kind of like those rabbits we saw. He could be a monkey or an orangutan.

  Elliott : A bald monkey?

  Gertie : Is he a pig? He sure eats like one.

• Michael : [as Yoda]  You have absolute power! Yes!

• Tyler : [sarcastically]  Hey, Elliot, where's your goblin?

  Michael : Shut up.

  Steve : Did he come back?

  Pretty Young Girl : Hi, Elliot.

  Greg : Well, did he?

  Elliott : Yeah, he came back, but he's not a goblin. He's a spaceman.

  Steve : Ooh, as in extra-terrestrial!

  Tyler : Where is he from, Uranus? Get it? Your anus?

  Greg : He doesn't get it, Ty.

  Tyler : Get it, your anus?

  Greg : He doesn't get it.

  Elliott : You're so immature!

  Greg : And you're such a cintus suprimus!

  Elliott : Zero charisma!

  Greg : Cintus suprimus!

  Elliott : Zero charisma!

  Greg : Cintus suprimus!

  Elliott : Shut up, Greg!

  Greg : Cintus suprimus!

  Elliott : [yells as he rides off on his bike]  Zero charisma!

  Greg : You wimp!

• Michael : Did you explain school to him?

  Elliott : How do you explain school to higher intelligence?

  Michael : Maybe he's not that smart. Maybe he's like a worker bee who only knows how to push buttons or something.

  Elliott : [knowingly]  He is too smart.

  Michael : Okay, I just hope we don't wake up on Mars or something surrounded by millions of little squashy guys.

• Michael : I've never driven foward before!

• Gertie : What are you going as for Halloween?

  Elliott : [Elliot is upset because nobody believes him]  I'm not going to stupid Halloween.

  Michael : [to Elliot]  Why don't you go as a goblin?

  Elliott : [flatly]  Shut up.

• Elliott : Think, Michael. What would make a radar?

  Michael : How the hell do I know? You're the genius in the family; you have absolute power, remember?

• [first lines] 

  Steve : [reading dice]  Five.

  Michael : Oh, great.

  Steve : So you got an arrow right in your chest.

• Mary : It's your turn to do the dishes, fellas.

  Michael : I set and cleared.

  Elliott : [in a stern tone]  I set and cleared.

  Michael : [quickly]  I did breakfast.

  Gertie : [solemnly]  I did breakfast.

  Michael : [noticing how upset Mary is]  What's the matter, mom?

  Mary : [leaves in tears, to herself, about her husband]  He HATES Mexico!

  Michael : [to Elliot, furiously]  Damn it, why don't you - grow up and think how other people feel for a change!

  [Elliot goes angry and does the dishes] 

• Elliott : [upon encountering E.T., running excitedly into the house]  Mom, Mom! There's something out there!

  Mary : What?

  Elliott : It's in the toolshed. It threw the ball at me.

  [Michael and his friends mock him loudly] 

  Elliott : QUIET!

  [Michael's friends go silent] 

  Elliott : [in hushed tone]  Nobody go out there!

  Michael : [the boys all spring up excitedly]  Ha! Ha! Ha!

  [they grab knives] 

  Mary : Stop, now! You guys stay right here!

  Michael : You stay here, Mom, we'll check it out!

  Mary : And put those knives back!

  [Elliot grabs her hand and pulls her outside as well] 

  Mary : Okay, Elliot! Let me get a flashlight.

• Mary : [on Halloween night]  Listen, buster, you won't get four blocks in this neighborhood dressed like that.

  Michael : Please?

  Mary : No, and that is final. You are not going as a terrorist.

• Michael : [walks in Elliot's room and sees E.T. in a dress; he chuckles]  What's all this shit?

  Elliott : E.T. phone home.

  Michael : [astonished]  My God, he's talking now.

  Elliott : Home.

  Elliot : E.T. phone home?

  Elliott : [points to window]  E.T. phone home.

  Elliot : [whispers]  And they'll come?

  Elliott : Come? Home.

  [pulls off wig and hat from his head] 

  Elliott : Home.

• Michael : [imitating Elliot]  I found him, he belongs to me!