The migrants sent a distress call to the European emergency telephone number 112 from the 18-metre (60-foot) vessel after bad weather conditions overnight.

For PS15 participants can choose a taster dessert from the a la carte menu as a starter, a specially made savoury dessert as a main course, and another a la carte dessert for afters. It comes along with a glass of dessert wine or tea or coffee, and the choices are different each month.

To me, it's more about my mother dusting off her gravy boats, eating dinner from a table covered in a plastic cloth emblazoned with poinsettia, afters, which we never normally have, a late tea with pickled onions with everything, and telly.

This week the pair will devour the Seventies, possibly starting with a prawn cocktail, followed by a chicken Kiev with Smash and a nice Angel Delight for afters. No word on what they think about the Victorians.

For 'afters' these ill mannered and grossly overpaid delinquent louts served up a choice of mass brawling and behaviour by a potential England captain that few of us would tolerate from a two year-old.

But what will it do for afters? What's the next trick?

Jamie's Italian Christmas C4, 8pm FOOD Mr Oliver gives turkey and all the trimmings a Mediterranean twist, serving it with porchetta and balsamic roasted potatoes, with tiramisu for afters. Delizioso.

For afters, Ben and Jerry's Core Dough-ble Impact Ice Cream (500ml) is a steal at PS2 instead of PS4.50, along with Utter Peanut Butter Clutter and Blondie Brownie flavours.

FOOD UNWRAPPED (8.30pm Channel 4) MONDAY is definitely staying-in night for foodies, with Food Unwrapped going up against Food And Drink on BBC2, with the mouth-watering Cook's Questions for afters on More 4 at 9pm.

So if a player swears at the ref, or has a bit of 'handbags' or 'afters' with an opponent, he goes off for five or ten minutes to calm down while his team battles on without him, then he comes back on.

It had vegetables with it and mini chips - and cake for afters."

? Morrisons Valentine Meal Deal, PS10 Main, side and pud for two, plus wine* The coq au vin with cheddar and leek mash, plus salted caramel chocolate pudding for afters goes well with the bottle of Cava Brut and is worth PS17.49.

"Our league form had dipped, but hopefully afterS performance and that response from throughout the club and supporters we can use this whole experience and move on.

Certainly, there are no happy ever afters for us, having to endure a slurry of obscenities that leaves us craving a shower.