Speak, air guitar. Australian scientists have created a shirt that transforms arm movement into sound. OTIS HART listens in.
After decades of silent servitude to the riff, the air guitar has found a voice down under.
A group of Australian scientists have developed software that turns any long-sleeved shirt into a virtual ax, allowing those about to rock a chance to be heard -- literally.
Dr. Richard Helmer, an expert in electric engineering, came up with the idea to demonstrate the power of "intelligent textiles" -- clothing that can communicate with computers. It's basically the same concept used to design realistic sports video games, where an athlete equipped with motion sensors replicates in-game action while a computer records his movement. Only in Helmer's case, he's using the data to create sound instead of visuals, to transform histrionics into sonics.
It's not a novel idea. Russian physicist Léon Theremin did basically the same thing when he created the electronic instrument that bears his name in 1919. The Helsinki University of Technology completed a project last year that used high-tech gloves to generate noise. There's even a video game you can buy -- "Guitar Hero" lets PlayStation owners rock out to Black Sabbath.
Helmer's spin on shredding involves weaving fibers into a shirt's fabric to record arm and elbow movements. Any shirt can become an air guitar with Helmer's technology.
"I have used a long-sleeve T-shirt from local department store but (it) could be any fashion," Helmer wrote in an e-mail Wednesday.
___
ACTIONS SPEAK VOLUMES
The question facing duderockers is, do they really want to be responsible for the sound coming out of the speakers? Part of the appeal of the air guitar is that no matter what you do, the music is still going to rock. You can't play a wrong note. Break out as many windmills as you want, Jimmy Page has your back.
But with Helmer's invention (which you can see in action here), you're on your own. The mindless self-indulgence isn't so mindless anymore. The onus is on you to supply the sound, one painful note at a time.
Watch Helmer get down (think Napoleon Dynamite meshed with Mike Myers' "Sprockets" skit on Saturday Night Live). The actions are too deliberate, the sounds too rudimentary. The impulse to bust out the air guitar often relates directly to the level of alcohol in one's bloodstream, and the coordination it takes to piece together a killer hook might be long gone by the time you choose to suit up.
___
INTELLIGENT IDIOCY
Helmer is a very intelligent guy, and there's a lot more to his invention than empowering pantomimed power chords.
"Wearable technology is really quite deep," he wrote, "as the use of smart devices combined with the growing knowledge resident in the digital infrastructure and its software landscape will enable the solution to today's real world problems and desires to be solved with both real and imaginary (or virtual) parts, much like the solution to many real world problems (e.g. trigonometry, square root -1) relies on number systems with real and imaginary numbers."
This coming from a man who might soon be the patron saint of frat boys.
There's something ironic about subverting cutting-edge technology to further one of the most moronic activities known to man. What's next, readymade ballads at the flick of a lighter?
___
Those interested in Hemler's air guitar shirt can contact him at airguitar@csiro.au.
___
Otis Hart is an asap reporter in New York.
___
Want to comment? Sound off at soundoffasap@ap.org .
©2006 The Associated Press. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed. Learn more about our Privacy Policy.
