Patrick Schwarzenegger is as devastated as the rest of us White Lotus fans about Aimee Lou Wood‘s death.

The actor paid a visit to Today With Jenna & Friends this morning, where he shared his initial reaction to hearing Wood’s character was going to die in the season finale. Schwarzenegger revealed to Today co-hosts Jenna Bush Hager and Andrew Rannells that he wished his character Saxon had the chance to save Chelsea during the shooting.

“In real life I loved her, she was such a great friend on set and so much fun to work opposite,” he said. “And I was telling her that I felt so guilty. I wanted this arc for Saxon, I told her, ‘I wish I took that bullet for you, I wish I came at the end and saved you.'”

He continued, “But you know [Mike White] is a genius writer and I’m surprised that people came around to liking Saxon.”

In the whirlwind finale, Chelsea got caught in the crossfire after her troubled boyfriend Rick (Walton Goggins) shot his father and sparked a shoot-out at the resort. Their love story ended with Rick trying to carry a dying Chelsea to safety until he was also shot by the resort’s security guard, Gaitok (Tayme Thapthimthong).

Schwarzenegger admitted that he got quite a bit of flack for his character’s difficult personality when the show premiered.

“I was disliked, I was severely hated,” he told Bush Hager and Rannells. “When I was walking the streets of New York the first weeks, people were like, ‘Oh I hate you, I love to hate you.'”

Bush Hager even had to issue an apology to the actor for her initial reaction to his White Lotus character.

“I think I looked at you and said, ‘I can’t look at you the same.’ I think I did and I apologize for that, I take that back,” she said.

Needless to say, Schwarzenegger enjoyed his stay at The White Lotus. He even got a special surprise from Season 2 star Meghann Fahy, who was also on set to promote her new movie Drop.

The actress came out during his Today interview with matching t-shirts that bore both of their faces and read, “We survived The White Lotus… and all I got was this stupid t-shirt!”

“I love how traumatized we both look!” Fahy said.

The White Lotus is streaming now on Max.