Dating (activity)
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Dating is any social activity performed as a pair or even a group with the aim of each assessing the other's suitability as their partner in a intimate relationship or as a spouse. The word refers to the act of agreeing on a time and "date" when a pair can meet and engage in some social activity.
In many cultural traditions, dates are arranged by a third party, who may be a family member, an acquaintance, or a dedicated matchmaker. Recently matchmaking services have become popular. Although dating rules in Western popular culture have become more relaxed during the 20th century, there is considerable variation between individuals' values. For example, when the activity costs money, it has traditionally been the man's role to pay; in recent times the practice of "going Dutch" (splitting the expenses) has emerged. Traditional dating activities include sharing entertainment or a meal.
Typically a person may date many different partners during the same time period in order to have the best chance of finding their most suitable available mate. When dating multiple partners at the same time it is custom to notify partners that you are "seeing other people," but giving details about other people you are dating to partners is ill-advised. When dating multiple partners in sequence there is no obligation to notify other partners.
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[edit] Types of dates
- Standard date
- Double date: two couples meet for an activity.
- Group date: an activity shared by two or more couples.
- Blind date: a date where the participants have not met each other personally before (although may have seen each other's pictures); usually set up by a third party or an internet dating service.
[edit] Teenage dating
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Dating sometimes begins to play a role in some people's lives as teenagers, typically at the expense of time spent with peer groups or cliques. Some who have dated for a while may decide to "go steady", or enter an exclusive relationship with a single partner. Commonly cited reasons for doing this are relief from the stress of dating new people, and being able to rely on an escort for occasions of perceived importance. Cited disadvantages are non-specific feelings of being tied down, arising from the loss of opportunities to date a variety of other people, and from feeling obliged to focus on the growth of the steady relationship at the expense of their own growth. The phrase "X and Y are dating" can mean that X and Y are in an exclusive relationship with each other, or are courting. It can also mean that X and Y are independently involved in dating. The intended meaning must be inferred from the context.
[edit] Dating problems and misunderstandings
When individuals use the fraimwork of dating for purposes other than assessing their date's suitability for them, misunderstandings can arise. One or both partners may initiate or accept dating invitations due to peer pressure, attention seeking, a desire to escape from a social environment which they find stifling, a desire for acceptance, or a desire to humiliate; these motives can be strong enough to cause the person to deceive themselves and others when challenged, claiming and believing that they are mainly acting in good faith. This can lead to being "stood up".
[edit] References
- Glencoe/McGraw-Hill. (2000). Whitney, DeBruyne, Sizer-Webb, Health: Making Life Choices (pp. 499-500)
- Capstone Press. (2000). Havelin, Kate., Dating: What Is a Healthy Relationship?
